I am a hopeless romantic.
There, I’ve said it.
I know how it sounds, optimistically dangerous. Some might even say foolish.
But I wait.
Because right now, I’m not ready to be in love.
Been there, done that. I’ve loved someone who loved me back. I’ve loved someone who had no idea. I’ve been loved and couldn’t return it.
And all the same, every experience has led me to the same conclusion.
I want to be my own soulmate.
My future plans only rotate around me, myself, and I.. and honestly, I don’t need nor want anyone changing that.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against being in love.. in fact, I love being in love. Adore it even.. it is one of the single most greatest acts you can commit — to love and be loved in return.
And that’s why I don’t want it now.
Now all I want is the freedom to be whoever I want, wherever I want, whenever I want.
I have no desire for anyone to shackle me down with expectations or promises of everlasting love. I don’t want anyone trying to be my better half, or wanting to understand me more than I know and trust myself.
I want to know I’m completely whole all by myself and that may happiness cannot be stolen by another.
There are too many sunsets I haven’t seen yet.
I slipped the ring on my finger out of curiosity. It felt odd — the cold metal snaked around my skin — I’m not much of a person for jewelry, yet alone gold.
A simple band with a hexagon shape. It suited me, and symbolized my eternal love for the number 16 and all its important meanings.
So I bought it. As a promise ring to my soul. To love myself fully and unapologetically. To become my own lover, my own best friend, my own family… my own delta.
To always remain true to my heart — and never settle for anything less than I deserve.