Expression of pain can be so confusing. In this world, where it’s phenomenally brave, and trafically fragile to be human–to make mistakes, to take a leap of faith and end up falling, to love someone with our entire being and end up losing them one way or another. To feel betrayed, broken, like the world is set up solely to suffer. To lose the ability to believe in anything, and not be capable of trusting anyone, not even ourselves — to constantly look for something concrete–- something that can be tasted, or touched, or seen–to prove that there is meaning to it all.
Whether or not I believe in a divine figure or god or scientific proof, Everyone is searching for some kind of truth in our lives, some kind of beauty and love. But — I will admit — it’s hard to see past pain as blinding as betrayal and loss, to trust in something we can’t physically attest to — scientifically the most heavily relied on sense. I forget that along with times of pain, fear,and confusion come times of comfort, courage, and revelation. Struggle and push through the chaotic tides of obstacles, happiness awaits. The only way to weather the storm is faith–in ourselves, in others, in a better future to come. Faith not in the form of passive waiting, but in action to try and be that concrete sign of a better future… I have so much left to do —
so much left to see.