January 13th, 2016
“You have so many voice memos on your computer Trinh, what are they?” quipped my companion, as he struggled to erase all the memory from my laptop to start anew.
Mindlessly, I wasn’t paying attention. I was lost in a book, Norwegian Wood.
I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?
Beautiful sentiment, I mused to myself — and then I heard it, your accented voice mixed with laughter — instant evacuation from the confines of my own mind.
“I love you, bear! What will we wear to the wedding?”
Your words were coated with happiness; warm and inviting to the very, distant past. I hadn’t heard you this way in years.
And of course, you were talking about the two things you loved the most then: fashion and me. The universe is very peculiar; revealing only what it deems necessary for the revolution of my heart in precise timing — or possibly, despite it.
My best friend, perhaps a bit surprised by what the memo contained, gave me that look we often exchanged while reminiscing and discussing past flames.
I half-smiled, “You can delete those — I.. I need to delete those.”
He peered at my computer for a moment, my personal apple genius, and shrugged off my half-hearted request, “You need to remember stuff like this.. you will want to remember stuff like this.”
Sometimes, cautiously, I venture down memory lane to visit you.. in retrospect, to run into myself, too.
Forgetting is the easiest way to get over heart-break — but, remembering is the most certain way to understand it.
January 11th, 2012