September 14th, 2012
I anticipated the welcoming of freedom in a foreign country with clammy wet hands as I embraced my beautiful mother for what seemed like an eternity in her arms. I could tell by her reluctancy to let me go, and the often look in a mother’s knowing eyes that she understood my decision to leave. No only did she comprehend my departure, she too understood the allure of running away from a broken heart. She had once described it as the Grand Canyon; mysterious and enticing, and all the audience believes it to be such a natural feat of life, but no one truly knows the history of how it became to be. Tourists can just go and stare and marvel at the beauty, and never know how many lives it took. Perhaps a cynic, she concluded love was a war; some would win, but surely both sides would lose in the process. These images swirled in my head like a typhoon. And it’s amazing to think about what a natural disaster can do for life. Though it destroys the past, it renders a new future to hope for, a new beginning. And I could bet there wasn’t a single person in all the history of time that never longed for a fresh start to heal the wounds of memories.
And I could attest to this.. and this is why I had to leave it all behind me. It just happened and I didn’t need to explain to my beautiful mother, that one day last week I just woke up from a terrible dream and when I woke up I realized it was real and it was my life. And so that morning I decided I was going to change everything around me that needed to be in order to gain happiness within my own person.
So here I find myself at the crowded airport waiting for her to beg me not to go because it will make another Grand Canyon across her heart, and truly, she astounds me by saying the most marvelous thing ever. “In life you’re going to go far, and if you do it right, you’ll love where you are.. but where ever you go, you can always come home.”