I remember performing this piece in front of an audience composed of my fellow university colleagues. Nerves and anxiety hijacked my body moments before it was my turn to converse with the mic.
It was the first time I performed my own slam poetry. I got my first standing ovation that day for something I personally penned. I never shared that moment with anyone. Not my friends, not my parents, not my lover — anyone. I wanted that one perfect memory for myself — because I wasn’t comfortable fully with myself yet. No one knew me at that performance outside the stage. What I said, would never get back to me in ways I wasn’t emotionally and mentally prepared for.
And now after all these years — I’m ready to be me, unashamed and unapologetic.
One of the biggest arguments is that my sexuality is unnatural,
Yet they have the right to believe in a book that has a talking snake and a pregnant virgin, and call that factual.
But my rights to marry the person I love and adore,
are being fought over amongst people who equate being a homosexual to a whore.
People that have their pockets filled with money politically drive this nation,
But I want them to step into my shoes and have their rights taken.
Then they will understand how it feels to only have a pocket full of dreams and hope.
Then they’ll know how it feels to have their unalienable rights casted for a vote.
We the people, are supposed to have the right to freely exercise any religion we desire.
Separation of church and state it says, then tell me why is it required,
For me to marry a man in order to be socially accepted
So the public won’t have to fear of being homsexually infected
Because I’ve been told I have a disease, and I’ve been told that that I need to be blessed from this sickness.
Then why can’t I call into work and say with ease, “I’m suffering homosexuality today, I can’t go into business.”
Tell me when my heart became a battlefield for the public to influence and abuse.
Tell me when my relationship became a political muse – to drive campaigns left or right, blue or red
Tell me when social justice became dead.
And if you want to judge me or any one else,
I dare you to get to know all of my heart, and read the library in my mind, take the books off the shelves.
You see because I’d rather be judged for what’s in my heart, and my head,
Than all these condemning and hypocritical verdicts of who I take to bed.
I am definitely not the first, and I know with all my religious conviction I won’t be the last,
Straight people should stop having gay children, and then their sons will stop taking it in the ass.
Because I’ve seen the disappointment in a mother’s distant eyes, I’ve seen the way a church congregation looks at someone different with despise.
And I’ve seen the malicious weight placed upon a religious figure, to heal me of my sins, the talk of my sexuality has become bigger
than God himself.
And while we are on the subject of he himself, the lessons he teaches of love, has become my good health.
For some of his followers have filled themselves with rules and hate, all the while my love remains an ongoing subject of impassioned debate.
Hear the greatest commandment, love thy neighbor as they self, tell me you who are listening, where have you placed your treasure and wealth?
For mine is buried in the love for a girl I would gladly boast to the world and tell,
for her I’d gladly and full-heartedly choose hell
And if it means my soul is damned, then damned for love I’ll be
Tell me is your God angry enough to send me to hell based on my innocent sexuality?
For I’ve heard they call him the alpha and omega, and I’ve heard his name as father,
I’ve heard the name savior, but what really strikes a resonating chord is the Living water.
In science class I learned that water takes the shape of its container,
And recently I view God as a masterful artist, the greatest of painters
But I’ve learned to love myself as a beautifully misunderstood masterpiece
I want to believe God is greater than any god placed on Mt. Olympus of Greece.
So then I should not fear the thought of condemnation for my sexuality,
When the Living water has taken the His shape of me – for I am a vessel of hope and prosperity
See this voice in my head, keeps whispering beautiful thoughts of redemption
Where I don’t have to fear my sexuality as a sin of intention.
Because this was never a choice in my power, it just happened naturally as a flower
opens up its bud when hit with the rays of spring’s sunlight – life is paved
Because in my love, I know God is in delight – I am saved.